If you’re going on a diet and not posting it about it on every social media site in the universe, are you really on a diet? The answer is no. And it’s a “lifestyle change”, you idiot. Now, you know I’ve obnoxiously accomplished The Whole30, which means I now have the right to brag about how knowledgeable and healthy I am and how I know how to read food labels.
Due to an obsession with consuming the macaroni and cheese at my work cafeteria multiple times a week, I’m now embarking on a health journey once again. I’m following loose Whole30 guidelines, but incorporating foods made with Whole30 ingredients (naughty) and continuing to drink booze because I’ve already been a psycho once and I don’t think I can do it again. For all of you haters – yes, I know this isn’t the real Whole30. Calm down and read on for one of my favorite healthy treats – cauliflower tortillas!
If you don’t know, The Whole30 cuts out everything good in life, so tortillas are a no-no. Instead, it’s time to substitute, girl. Recipe below!
First off, take a head of cauliflower and transform it into a rice-like substance with your NutriBullet. A food processor is easier, but if you’re me and don’t have one then you’re good.
Next, line a cookie sheet with parchment paper and pop your little rices into the oven at 400 Fahrenheit for about 20 minutes. Stir that baby up every once in a while.
While the cauliflower is cooking, stir up some custom ~healthy~ taco seasoning. I combined chili powder, garlic powder, dried oregano, paprika, ground cumin, salt and pepper. Spice up your life.
Add the seasoning to some ground chicken or turkey, and cook until brown. You can also slice up some tomatoes and whip up some fresh guac.
After the cauliflower is nice and roasted, let it chill out for a few minutes. Then, pour it into a cheese cloth (thin dish towel if you’re me) and squeeze out all of the extra water. You might be surprised at how much squirts out.
After breaking your hands from squeezing out all the extra water, combine eggs, paprika, sea salt, cilantro (if you have it), and lime or lemon zest (full deets in the recipe below). Mix that shit up!
Next, flatten your goop mixture into tiny little tortillas. You should have about 6 or 7, and may need multiple cookie sheets. Pop those suckers in the over at 375 Fahrenheit and cook for 8 to 10 minutes, then flip over and cook the other side for 5 to 7 minutes.
Voila! You’ve created amazing and delish cauliflower tortillas. Now, it’s time to dress ’em up.
Add the ground meat you cooked up earlier with some sexy toppings, turn on The Bachelor and you’re good to go. I made these about 7 times in 2 weeks and know you’re going to be as OBSESSED as I am.
- 1 head of cauliflower, broken into florets
- 2 eggs
- 2 tbsp. fresh cilantro, chopped (optional)
- 1/2 tsp. lime zest (or lemon if you're lazy)
- 1/2 tsp. paprika
- 1/4 tsp. sea salt
- pinch of black pepper
- Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit.
- Using a food processor (or a nutribullet if you're me and appliances are limited), pulse the cauliflower until you get a texture similar to rice.
- Lay out the little rices evenly on a rimmed baking sheet lined with parchment paper and place into the oven. Roast for 20-25 minutes until cauliflower is tender. Remove from oven and allow to cool.
- Reduce oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit.
- Place the roasted cauliflower in a cheesecloth (or dish towel if, once again, you're not prepared) and squeeze out as much excess water as you can.
- Transfer the drained cauliflower to a mixing bowl. Add the eggs, cilantro (optional), paprika, lime zest (or lemon), sea salt, and pepper.
- Separate the mixture into 6 to 7 balls of equal size, and spread each ball out on a parchment-lined baking sheet to make 6 to 7 small tortilla-sized circles. They're really like, baby tortillas.
- Bake for 8 to 10 minutes, then flip and cook for 5 to 7 more minutes until completely set.
- Top these bad boys with ground chicken or turkey, fresh guac and tomatoes for a healthy taco night!